Thank You, Autism

Image is of my husband in a black shirt, holding my son in black and red, near his birthday cake.

(Note: I am a work in progress, and I am learning more every single day. Please note, if you see references in this post that feel ableist, that I am learning, and continuing to improve my lexicon when it comes to respecting the disabled community.)

I am thankful for Autism.

Let's back it up a little bit. Autism is a word that seems to splits society down the middle. Autism is a word that too many people have a fearful reaction to. I chose not to live in fear of the word Autism. Instead, I am thankful for what the word 'Autism' has brought me. I am thankful for where the journey has led me so far.

I am thankful for the honesty and genuine nature of my son. We know he never fakes it, he never is dishonest, and he wears his heart on his sleeve. Small things make him jump for joy, and his sweet hands flap excitedly. I love that hand flapping, because he is saying 'I am excited, I'm happy, I like this a lot.' His body language is a form of communication. I embrace every little movement that gives me a peek into his thoughts. He loves so fiercely and openly. He loves to hold hands. He loves hugs and kisses.

My son has taught me to let go of a narrow view of intelligence. I could see the fire in his eyes from early on. I still see it now. Those beautiful blue eyes that have so much going on behind them. I am better able to see the subtleness in intelligence, and how it manifests in so many different ways. I see the prejudice people carry against those who don't meet their own narrow view of intelligence. I can say with certainty that some of the quietest, most unassuming souls will teach us more than any book could hope to.

I'm incredibly thankful to find myself connected in the disability community. My eyes have been better opened to what disabled individuals go through, and I am learning every single day on how to make the world a better place. I have the privilege to be able to fight for them to have their valuable thoughts heard. I have met people who meet the challenges of society head on, and do it with a passion in their hearts and a will to share their truth.

And, the sweet cherry on top of it all, is that I've come to better understand who I am. There are so many things about myself that I never understood, until my son opened the door for me. My own truth could have been locked up forever, just stewing and struggling; without him there to show it to me. It's still a work in progress, but my heart heals a little more every single day.

I'm not here to paint an unrealistic picture of unicorns and lollipops. We have hard days. Sometimes, I can't figure out what it is he needs. Sometimes, we're all just tired and overwhelmed. We are a home full of deep, intense people, and sometimes that's a lot to deal with. We are all human beings with our own needs. But, a hard day doesn't make a bad life. I will continue to do everything I can to meet my son where he is, and as he is. I will provide him support and things he needs to be his best self, without ever making him feel like who he is, is flawed. I am excited to learn more about him and his unique view of the world as the years go by. And, I'll be happy to hold his hand forever.